Queer independent wedding ceremonies in Münster, North Rhine-Westphalia and internationally

Love is Love’ is true. But you’ll also find that phrase printed on mugs at the airport. Your wedding day deserves words that you’ll still be quoting in twenty years’ time, rather than forgetting them on a paper bag.


I’m often asked whether I also conduct queer wedding ceremonies. I understand the question very well. Many queer couples want to be sure that their story isn’t explained away, simplified or squeezed into a traditional wedding template. That’s precisely why the question is justified. And yet, for me, a queer wedding ceremony isn’t a specialised field requiring additional training.

My job is to listen to people, to distil what’s essential and to translate it into fitting language. This applies to two women, two men, two people who don’t identify with either of these categories, or any other couple who wish to say ‘I do’.


A queer independent wedding ceremony requires particularly precise language. Because your ceremony shouldn’t sound as though it’s being read from a template, nor should it sound like pronouns have simply been swapped out, nor like well-meaning rainbow kitsch. It should tell your story: as a couple, as people, with your history, your families, your decisions and your own perspective on love.


That is precisely my craft.

What makes a queer independent wedding ceremony special?

A queer independent wedding ceremony isn’t defined by simply renaming traditional wedding roles or swapping pronouns. It’s at its best when the wedding celebrant’s language is precise. Which terms feel right to you? Which parts of your story should be told? Which family constellations require a delicate touch? Which rituals suit you – and which don’t?

For me, a queer wedding ceremony isn’t a special format, but an independent ceremony in which your identity, your story and your perspective on love are taken seriously. Whether in Münster, North Rhine-Westphalia, Hesse or internationally: as an IHK-certified wedding celebrant, I’ll work with you to create a personal, emotional, fun and, if you wish, multilingual ceremony.

 

Journalism meets love: Why deep questions lead to better queer wedding speeches

For twenty years, I’ve been conducting interviews for the *Frankfurter Allgemeine Sonntagszeitung*. With politicians who didn’t want to say anything. With entrepreneurs who didn’t know their own story. With people who thought they had nothing interesting to say – and who, after two hours, stopped checking their watches.


This experience is my most important tool as a wedding speaker. Before I write a single sentence for your wedding ceremony, we’ll spend three to four hours talking. You won’t get a tick-box questionnaire from me. No form with questions like ‘How did you meet (please keep it brief)’. Instead, I’ll listen to you.

What emerges from this is, for example, a description of the moment when you realised things were serious between you – not the romantic cliché you might share publicly, but the truth. I describe the specific details that define your relationship. The way you argue and make up again. The things you laugh about when no one else is listening.

For queer couples, this takes on an extra dimension: many of them have travelled a winding path. They’ve been through coming-out experiences that were either easy or difficult. Families who were on board straight away or who needed time. Places where they had to hide, and places where they finally didn’t have to anymore. These stories are full of material for speeches that move people. Provided, of course, that the right questions are asked.

I ask the right questions. That’s been my job for twenty years.

What that means in practice:

  • No copy-and-paste from templates – every speech is crafted from scratch, just for you.
  • No clichéd wedding speeches: I’ll never say ‘Today, we’ve come full circle’.
  • Phrases you won’t have to hear twice. Because they hit the mark the first time round.

Multilingual queer wedding ceremonies in German, English or French

Many queer couples have international circles of friends, multilingual families or personal connections to different countries.

What does that mean for a wedding ceremony? For example, that the grandmother from Lyon might not speak German. Or that the best friend from Edinburgh might want to cry in English. It makes a difference whether you can follow a ceremony or are just watching it.

I work in German, English and French – not in a ‘I learnt it once’ sort of way, but in a way that allows my language to convey emotion.

I conduct a multilingual ceremony in which I switch between languages. Key passages can be delivered in a second language, specifically tailored for certain guests. Or a fully parallel service – depending on the mix of your guests and what feels right for you.

The aim is always the same: everyone in the room should be truly present at the crucial moment – not guessing, not waiting, but empathising.

Why a safe space makes your ceremony more emotional

The term ‘safe space’ is used very frequently these days. I use it anyway because it hits the nail on the head – even if I prefer to fill it with substance rather than declarations of intent.

I’ve been happily married for twenty years. That hasn’t made me blind to other ways of life – quite the opposite. I’m simply curious about people. That’s a fundamental quality that a wedding celebrant should possess. Anyone who isn’t genuinely interested in what makes a couple tick shouldn’t be writing wedding speeches.

What I bring to the table isn’t performative allyship, but what I bring to all my couples:

  • Reliability: I stick to my word. Appointments, deadlines, emails – everything on time, everything handled with care.

  • Discretion: What you tell me stays with me. Not on the blog, not in ‘anonymised’ examples.

  • Respect: For your decisions, your identities, your family circumstances – without asking questions that add nothing to the ceremony.

  • Professionalism: IHK-certified, skilled, experienced – my paperwork is in order, as is the schedule.

Emotional ceremonies arise not in spite of, but through professionalism. When you can rely on the officiant knowing what she’s doing, you can stop worrying. And then the real thing happens. You’re simply there, in that moment, together.

I’m the Swiss Army knife of wedding officiants: I listen, organise, phrase things, translate and am at the microphone on time. No ‘tear-jerker’ music playlist that nobody asked for.

Let’s find out together what makes your love special!

These are questions often asked by couples who want a queer wedding ceremony

How do you handle it when some family members are ‘difficult’ or sceptical about a queer wedding?

That’s the ultimate test of a ceremony host’s skills. As a trained event host, I’m used to being in rooms where not everyone sees eye to eye. During our pre-wedding consultation, we’ll discuss exactly who will be present at your independent wedding ceremony and what nuances are important. Throughout the ceremony, I’ll ensure a respectful and professional atmosphere. No one will be put on the spot or tried to be converted – the focus is clearly on your journey.

What happens if we don’t want any ‘traditional’ wedding rituals at all – is the speech the only thing then?

A non-religious wedding ceremony isn’t a case of ‘paint by numbers’. If you don’t want to exchange rings and feel more comfortable walking down the aisle to heavy metal than to a string ensemble, that’s wonderful. I see myself as the architect of your ceremony. We can develop alternative rituals that suit your identity, or leave out any ritual at all – in which case I’ll simply speak for a little longer. My aim is to ensure that nothing happens that feels like a pretence to you. With me, you don’t have to ‘play at getting married’.

Can we also book you for a ceremony abroad if we’re getting married there?

Absolutely! As a travel-loving editor and a multilingual all-rounder, I love ‘destination weddings’. Whether it’s a vineyard in Provence or a loft in London – I’ll accompany you to wherever your story unfolds. As I can conduct ceremonies in English and French confidently and naturally, I’m not just your celebrant on the day, but also a linguistic bridge to your guests and service providers.

Formée par Redekunstwerk en collaboration avec la Chambre de commerce et d'industrie d'Osnabrück. Distinguée par un certificat de la CCI.